As the author of over twenty books, at least eight of them on parenting and discipline, and ten to twelve books on networking, relationships and business, and a family counselor for almost 15 years, I can tell you there are five sure ways of destroying your child’s ability to succeed. This article is a satirical look at what you can keep from your children that will negatively influence who they are as adults. If you do these five things, you can rest assured that you will powerfully impact your child’s success in life in the wrong direction.
Allow your children to become blinded by their own sense of entitlement. Then, do not let them see you living your greatness. If you simply allow your children to lead and do not model successful behaviors of any kind for your child, you can be assured they will wind up lost and blind. Let them lead the way, like a blind man lost in a busy metropolis.
Without great modeling, your child won’t learn how you expect him to behave. Modeling is the basis of learning through observation, so keep your children in the dark. This is good for those parents who do not want to look at their own behavior and take responsibility for it.
There are many different types of communication tools available to parents, but the most important thing to remember is that words are only a small part of communication! Communication is considered the number one skill necessary to succeed in relationships. Relationships everywhere; work, school, work, home . . .if you truly want to destroy your child’s ability to succeed do not calmly, respectfully or considerately communicate with them ever. Instead, yell, whine, plead, beg and make frustrated noises and watch their ability to express themselves successfully quickly begin to fade as the do exactly what you fail at doing.
This is good news for most parents. Discipline is the thing they least enjoy anyway. When you don’t discipline a child, they do not learn self-discipline, which keeps them behaving as spoiled, entitled children who cannot delay gratification for five minutes. There inability to delay gratification, coupled with their entitled attitudes will ensure they do not succeed at anything they try. (Primarily because they don’t believe they should have to exert effort for anything).
Research has shown that children who cannot delay gratification as children grow up to be much less successful than children who can.
In order for children not to succeed they must not develop problem-solving skills or learn to resolve conflict. If you want your children to fail, super size their abilities to create problems that they do not know how to navigate or resolve. Conflict resolution and problem solving are usually circular. You experience a problem or have a conflict and at first the experience is a bundle of negative or confused emotions. If you simply stop communication or processing information half way through any problem or conflict, you can teach your child to stay stuck in the conflict cycle. This is a great way to keep them from succeeding because it will create perpetual problems for them that, they cannot solve because they never developed the skills.
Family traditions show your child that there are standards and rituals that are consistent and important. Family traditions help children feel that they are a part of something lasting. When you do not create family traditions children are left with nothing to ground them, nothing to believe in, and little to look forward to, Having a sense of belonging teaches children good character and the ability to love. Developing good character and the ability to love are two characteristics that lead children toward success, so be sure not to create any family traditions if the desire on your heart is to watch your children to fail.
All kidding and sarcasm aside, too many parents are doing the five steps above without realizing how damaging they can be.
Here are some recommendations for preventing -- or at least reducing -- bad behavior. First and foremost look into the NEW Toddler Toys called CAPABLES. Toy and games will never be the same because the CAPABLES learning system is not only a wonderful toy for children but provides parents help with children discipline. This is a few things that the CAPABLES Toddler Toys can help parents to do:
Dawn L Billings is an ardent advocate for women's and children's issues, the author of over 20 books and hundreds of articles on parenting, relationships, entitlement and networking. Dawn is the CEO and Founder of The Heart Link Womens Network, Trova Women Business Directory and Trova Small Business Directory and The Heart Alliance.com international women's networking organizations and communities.
Dawn is the creator of the NEW Parenting Tool called Capables, a revolutionary parenting tool and Toddler toy that ends whining and tantrums for good. In 2008 Dawn was selected by Oprah Magazine and The White House project as one of 80 emerging women leaders in the nation. Find out more and buy Dawn's books, Women Lifting the World inspirational videos to uplift the hearts of those you love, and the NEW Toddler Teaching Toys called CAPABLES Dawn is also the architect of the Primary Colors Personality Test